Dearest Allison,
Today Mommy has been doing a lot of reflecting. This morning, I got a call saying that Great Grandma (in the Big House)'s sister passed away. You and I went with Papa to go try to life her spirits. Mommy couldn't stand seeing Great Grandma cry. That loss. that pain. It got Mommy thinking entirely too much.
Also today, one of Mommy's friends posted a link to a memory book for their daughter, Paige. Paige is a beautiful little girl. She was born December 31 of last year. She has lots of pretty dark hair and long fingers/toes just like you. Due to an issue with Paige's umbilical cord, Paige went straight to heaven rather than spending time here on earth like you.
I know you and Paige would have been best buds. I could always picture you two having sleep overs together, pulling on kitten's tails together, cruising the loop on Sunday nights during the summer together, getting in to trouble together. Obviously God had a different vision for Paige-- Mommy doesn't really understand what God's vision is right now. Hopefully some day Mommy will be able to answer that question.
Mommy's heart breaks for Paige's parents. Allison, I've spent hours just staring at you and thinking about what they're going through. It moves Mommy to tears. My heart hopes that looking at you/pictures of you doesn't cause them pain. I know you'll be a constant reminder of their daughter. You two should be about the same developmentally. You two should be in the same grade level of school, you two should be taking your first steps at about the same time, you two should both be here. Mommy really wants you to know about Paige.
I can't imagine my life without you, my dear. I can't imagine not waking up during the night to change your diaper and make a bottle while you're screaming at me cause you are 'starving'. I can't imagine not being sleep deprived. I can't imagine not getting those snuggles when you're fighting being sleepy. I can't imagine not feeling your finally place your head on my chest when you give in to your exhaustion. I can't imagine not having to monitor the diaper and wipe situation to make sure we never run out. I can't imagine not having the poop-splosions that result in a dip in the tub for you. I can't imagine getting to time my potty breaks around your schedule.
You aren't yet able to say "I love you, Mommy", but that look in your eyes when I'm feeding you a bottle says those words clear as day. You've shown Mommy a whole new level of love. I have this new found, constantly growing love for you and also a much deeper love for your Daddy. You're starting to stir so I'll wrap this up for now. I love you, peanut.
<3 Mommy
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
One Month Old
Dearest Allison,
You just turned one. One month old that is! Where, oh where, has the past month gone? I feel like just yesterday I was on bed rest praying for your arrival while dreading the whole labor process. Now here I am watching you sleep peacefully from your 'milk coma'.
You're such a silly sleeper, Allison. You constantly move, wiggle, squeak and even cry in your sleep; all without waking up.
This past month has been full of sleepless nights, sleepless days, tears, dirty diapers, pee fountains, and lots of gas (from both ends, lil miss!). But more importantly, it's also been a month full of late night cuddles, mid-afternoon naps, gassy smiles, lots of laughing on the part of Mom and Dad, and love. So much love.
Last night I had your Daddy watch you when he got home from work so I could take a nap. Hearing your Daddy sing you songs and tell you stories until I finally fell asleep made my day. You definately have Daddy wrapped around your little pinky, my dear.
It's amazing how much we've grown over the past month. The first week I remember feeling so overwhelmed and almost terrified of doing something wrong. I remember taking the first 2 weeks to just learn about you; your quicks, your schedule, your noises.
I've gone days without bathing and days without brushing my teeth (gross!). My hair is almost always in a ponytail anymore. I haven't worn make-up in a LONG time. but I don't care. You're more than worth it.
Would I do it all again? That's a good question. Yes, you were worth it. But Daddy and I are in no hurry to give you a sibling. We want to fully enjoy every minute and milestone with you. Someday maybe we will discuss giving you a sibline, but for now, our family is perfect and complete and we're so content with where we're at.
But you're starting to wake up so I'll write more later.
I love you sooooo much little one!
<3 Mommy
You just turned one. One month old that is! Where, oh where, has the past month gone? I feel like just yesterday I was on bed rest praying for your arrival while dreading the whole labor process. Now here I am watching you sleep peacefully from your 'milk coma'.
You're such a silly sleeper, Allison. You constantly move, wiggle, squeak and even cry in your sleep; all without waking up.
This past month has been full of sleepless nights, sleepless days, tears, dirty diapers, pee fountains, and lots of gas (from both ends, lil miss!). But more importantly, it's also been a month full of late night cuddles, mid-afternoon naps, gassy smiles, lots of laughing on the part of Mom and Dad, and love. So much love.
Last night I had your Daddy watch you when he got home from work so I could take a nap. Hearing your Daddy sing you songs and tell you stories until I finally fell asleep made my day. You definately have Daddy wrapped around your little pinky, my dear.
It's amazing how much we've grown over the past month. The first week I remember feeling so overwhelmed and almost terrified of doing something wrong. I remember taking the first 2 weeks to just learn about you; your quicks, your schedule, your noises.
I've gone days without bathing and days without brushing my teeth (gross!). My hair is almost always in a ponytail anymore. I haven't worn make-up in a LONG time. but I don't care. You're more than worth it.
Would I do it all again? That's a good question. Yes, you were worth it. But Daddy and I are in no hurry to give you a sibling. We want to fully enjoy every minute and milestone with you. Someday maybe we will discuss giving you a sibline, but for now, our family is perfect and complete and we're so content with where we're at.
But you're starting to wake up so I'll write more later.
I love you sooooo much little one!
<3 Mommy
Saturday, February 2, 2013
12 Days Young
Miss Allison,
You are 12 days old. Hokey petes!
What a crazy 12 days it has been. Mommy would be lying if she didn't admit that she's been feeling overwhelmed. Breast feeding is what's best for you, but it's been really stressful for Mommy. Today Mommy had a lactation consultant come over to help make sure you were latching correctly, etc and so far it's REALLY helped. Mommy's hoping that we can go formula free today!
Daddy was amazing today. He took care of you while Mommy took a four hour nap. Now he's currently cuddling you while Mommy writes this letter to you. Mommy just got done ordering your birth announcements. Mommy and Daddy are excited for them to arrive so we can show you off.
I love you peanut. I'm going to go steal some cuddles and kisses from you now.
You are 12 days old. Hokey petes!
What a crazy 12 days it has been. Mommy would be lying if she didn't admit that she's been feeling overwhelmed. Breast feeding is what's best for you, but it's been really stressful for Mommy. Today Mommy had a lactation consultant come over to help make sure you were latching correctly, etc and so far it's REALLY helped. Mommy's hoping that we can go formula free today!
Daddy was amazing today. He took care of you while Mommy took a four hour nap. Now he's currently cuddling you while Mommy writes this letter to you. Mommy just got done ordering your birth announcements. Mommy and Daddy are excited for them to arrive so we can show you off.
I love you peanut. I'm going to go steal some cuddles and kisses from you now.
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